It has been discovered that a lot of quarrels people have in relationships and marriage are linked to money/financial matters. Even with people that are just friends, money may break the friendship.
Even in bible times, money was powerful. It had weight.
Money itself is actually not the problem. Greed, mis-management, lack of focus, fear, your mindset and the likes are the problem.
Love is expensive. You can’t afford to remove the issue of money from a relationship. Love costs money. You make phone calls, give gifts, make visits, plan your wedding (if you make it through courtship), pay school fees amongst other responsibilities.
If you do not have the capacity to give, you don’t have the capacity to love. Love is about giving not receiving, so money plays a major part.
“For God so love the world that he GAVE His only son”
There a few things you must understand;
1. If you are under the impression that men must provide, there is no where in the bible where it says that the man must be the provider. This is traditional not scriptural. 1 Timothy 5:16. Shows women are also to provide (The chapter mostly dwells on widows). You do not run your relationship by culture you run it by scripture. As a woman you too can be rich, you can provide. Marriage is a partnership. Women too should contribute. Proverbs 31 was written by a woman. She was married. She was in all kinds of business. From agriculture, to charity to fashion to exporting and more. God has never said anywhere that a woman should be idle. Let us relax. Women adjust your mind set. We are here as their help meet.
2. Deal with the mind sets concerning money. The mind set you had when you were single about money can affect your marriage. You must first trust God, not money. There are things that God can do that will not even require money. Learn to live by faith not by material things. When you trust money, you can never have enough of it. “The just shall live by faith”. Your faith will bring things that money cannot bring. You must build your faith in God. You will always have a problem when you trust only in the things you can see alone.
3. We must understand that money is a tool. It is not to be worshiped. Giving is the only way you conquer greed.
4. There must be financial maturity. The both of you must know how to make, manage and multiply money. “If you are old enough to eat then you are old enough to work”. “He that does not work, let him not eat”. Even if you do not have a job, create one. When things are working it is easier to attract people to your life. Too many people are too wasteful. You do not have a job yet you use an expensive phone. You would have used the money to start something small. Life should not be allowed to go backwards. You should not have a better last year. Life should be progressive. Learn to manage. Do not use what you should be using in two or three years time now. You have to invest in your future. You must pay a price for the dream that you have. You must save. There must be financial discipline. You can’t mess up your destiny today. You cannot claim the blessings of a man until you claim the wisdom that he has. Learn discipline. You are always borrowing, always broke, the money you have is never enough for you. Poverty is caused by scarcity of wisdom not funds. The money you have for now is enough if you can manage it well.
5. There must be a family vision, especially for the people that are married. In some relationships, the partners are hiding what they have and doing things separately. The vision is to work together as one. If there’s a vision she cannot ask you for what you cannot afford. If you can share a vision, “this is what we are saving towards, we want to start a business”, she cannot come and ask you for the money. Look at football for example, everybody is one when Nigeria is playing football for the time the match is going on. Let us leave the small things that make us quarrel and focus on the big things that make us one. Financially in your home, there must be a family vision. Running your finances together helps your mind to be one. The person that is more financially prudent should run the account and the other person must submit.
Women, do not try to buy a man’s love. Men, do not try to buy a woman’s love. Love must never be based on money. Do not try to buy love with money!
Songs of Solomon 8:7. Whether we like it or not, money makes things to move smoothly. Money should not be the foundation of your relationship but money will affect the happiness of your relationship. Money is available in God for you to prosper. How do you get it?
You must Tithe. If you are a born again Christian you must tithe.
You must Sow. You must give. If you do not give, there is no way you can receive. Church is a place to sow. People around you who need help are ways to sow. 2 Corinthians 9:6. If you keep giving change, you will keep receiving change. You must be a giver.