I Lost Hope

It’s been 121 days since I last wrote a blog post and to be honest, I even struggle to write down in my physical journal too. In 2020, I wrote down almost everything – my dreams, my thoughts, my plans, my prayers, prophetic words, struggles. EVERYTHING. As I wrote this, I wondered what really happened that made me stop and remembered something my pastor had mentioned. (Fam! It’s important you go to church. Believe me you’ll be refreshed especially if your motive for going to church is for the Word).

Sometime in August, at a singles conference – Glow and Grow, organised by my home church (RCCG The Oasis), I understood the meaning of “despondency” (thanks to my pastor). He explained it to mean being low in spirit from loss of hope. He said it’s a function of past disappointment but that in love, I can hope again because faith works through love.

Let me pause here to share a scripture and explain what that last sentence means to me.

“There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!

Romans 5:4-5 The Message Translation

The Passion Translation says: “And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope. And this hope is not a disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us!”

I understand faith to mean what I believe (not what’s happening around me or what I see physically). If I believe in God, His Son – Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit (I’ve never seen physically), His word and constant reminders that He loves me and His love is unending, my hope will come alive.

I can’t see “love” but I’m able to see its expressions. Let me give an example. I’m certain my sister Ibukun loves me and it’s not even because she tells me but I’ve seen her express it. Overtime, I have observed her actions. She is ALWAYS there for me and even thinks about things I’ll need and does them before I even ask. I have faith / believe she loves me (based on observation) which in turn gives me hope that whenever I need her, she’ll be there for me even if we’re fighting lol.

Something happened to me last year that made me gradually loose hope. I stopped observing what God had done and in hindsight, Observation to me means patiently enduring while I wait. God didn’t stop working on me. I say this because I haven’t left the faith. I still and always will believe in Jesus because He did save my soul. He continues to show He’s in love with me on a daily basis through His word, my dreams, people and the things that happen to me.

If you’re still reading this, I’d like to remind you to keep observing God’s showcase of His love for you especially when you’re “hemmed in with troubles” so you don’t become despondent.

Have an amazing day ahead full of testimonies.



About the post



Add yours →

  1. Lovely piece. Loveeetttt!!!

  2. Great piece Abiola!!! I am so proud of you my Beloved!!! God bless you. Buki J.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: