There are 3 kinds of love.
1. Agape Love – The God kind of love (“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16 NLT)
2. Philio – Friendship Love (“Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters.” – Hebrews 13:1 NLT)
3. Eros – Erotic Love ( you find in Songs of Solomon)
The three of them make up the kind of love that will make a relationship last. The agape love is unreserved commitment that carries mutuality with it. It is constant. 1st Corinthians 13. ‘Draw near to me and I will draw near to you‘. God’s love is not unconditional. There are conditions. There is no love that is unconditional. If you’re a sinner and you repent then you can be assured of Gods love. His love is constant it will always be there.
From the agape kind of love you grow into philio. Compatibility is important. Friendship needs maintenance that’s why you can’t have everybody as a friend. In a relationship, both of you are a blessing to each other, your values are the same, you service each other. There’s a commitment of friendship. You can’t love somebody you don’t know. The person must be able to survive as your friend. Yes, you can be attracted to the person, attraction is real but don’t base your relationship on feelings or attractions.
The Eros kind of love is not constant, it is fickle. It can be there today and it won’t be there tomorrow. Feelings come and go. Sacrifice is part of the demands of true friendship.
Love needs to be fed. We all have an emotional account. Natural commitment. Your relationship needs to be fueled. God chose David over everyone else because David did things that touched Gods heart. The relationship he had with God. There must be commitment, mutual service, mutual respect.
Four Processes for Love;
1. The law of attraction. Let the attraction be something solid. Let it be the virtue that attracts you. Charcater, intelligence, value, meekness. Things that are solid.
2. The law of agreement. There must be some level of agreement between you two. Amos 3:3.
3. The law of appreciation. What are the things you like that you have seen?
4. The law of acceptance. Accept the person for their strengths and weaknesses.
Develop patience. Love is about giving. You must not be tired of giving even when you don’t receieve.
Differences between true love and false love.
(False love includes emotional attachment, infatuation, lust etc)
True Love: Can wait, puts the other person first, takes time to happen. You grow in love. Gradually. Is attracted to the whole personality, helps your life to be more focused. You’ll be challenged to put your acts together. You want to develop the person not do anything the person wants. There’s an improvement in your lives. Views things realistically, Gives and shares. Makes realistic demands. The more you stay together the more the love grows. As you grow old the love gets stronger.
False Love: Cannot wait, thinks of self first, is always sudden. Immediate. Is attracted to just one thing. Is in a dream world. You stop progressing. Does not give or share. Makes unrealistic demands. The more you stay together the more the love dies.
Romans 5:5. Love is a divine thing. Without Christ in your life, you cannot genuinely love someone without being selfish about it.