Managing Long Distance Relationships

  
God is not against romance as long as we do it His way. He orchestrated romance. Love is of God. God is love! 

Every relationship is demanding. It requires work and that is when both parties are together talk less of being apart.


Five major types of long distance 

1. From day 1, the two parties were not together. It started over the phone or Internet. Here you marry someone you do not know.

2. The relationship started and then immediately parties had to separate. Started and separated. 

3. Off and on. Could be people that are married. One partner travels throughout the week then comes weekends, maybe because of work.

4. On for a while. Parties have been together for say 2 years and had to separate because of work or school. 

5. Separate and there’s no plan. Parties just hope that one day they’ll be together. 

The advantages of companionship are seen in Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

God encourages togetherness. Marriage is for support. There is some level of companionship. Proximity is important. There is need for proximity. 

Marriage will never change your character. It can only amplify it. If you’re weak now marriage will not make you strong. When it comes to marriage nobody knows you except God. He will grant the desires of your heart. There are some things you don’t even know that you desire. Adam never knew what a woman looked liked but when he saw eve liked what he saw and said;

““At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’”” – Genesis‬ ‭2:23‬ ‭NLT

There are some things right now you don’t even know you like. 

One of the major things in marriage is the knowledge of each other. Do i know this person well enough?

The more we drift away from God the more we destroy ourselves.

Challenges that can happen in a long distance relationship 

1. You can marry somebody you don’t know.

2. You can grow apart. This also concerns people that are married. It is possible for two people that were once in love to totally drift apart. 

3. You can grow in love with someone else. 

4. There are usually trust issues. 

What should I do to bridge the gap (when you cannot avoid the distance)

Make sure it’s planned and for a short period. This is why it is important to talk about your future plans before you get into it. Your purpose must align with that of your partner.

If you are single be careful, except you are sure it is for a short period of time. If not avoid it. 

1. Use technology. Phone, email, sms. Time zones are different. Living conditions in places are different. Both are challenging. 

2. Try and visit as much as you can. Break it by visits.

3. Be cautious with how you live your life. Don’t make the opposite sex your confidant. 

4. Don’t go to romantic events or wild parties. 

5. Try and be busy. Look for good things to put your energy into. Avoid idleness. Let there be something you’re doing with your life that keeps you passionate. 

6. Trust and pray. You can’t be a suspicious or overly jealous person. You must be trusting. Don’t assume there is any super hero. The strongest people fall so pray. Pray together and pray for each other. 

There must be a plan to end it.

4 Comments

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  1. Well written, this is a though and it works. I am saying this because I have done these things. I will say communication and God is one key factor .
    Nice work Biola

  2. I’m in one at the moment and tbh, communication is really important. Periods when we don’t get to talk as much, I feel myself slightly drifting away. Commitment and trust are also important. Also, having a plan is very necessary as nobody likes being led along and having their time wasted. Nice tips uno.

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