Who I Used To Be

I borrowed a friend some money last Friday. He said he’d pay back on Sunday. On Monday, I messaged him reminding him about it but he ignored me so I got really upset!

I was going to call him out on my social media to embarrass him but I thank God I now yield to the Holy Spirit who immediately cautioned me. He reminded me that;

Once upon a time, I wasn’t content. I loved being in the spotlight. I put myself under unnecessary pressure that nobody asked me to.

I wasn’t a good friend & sister. I remember helping my friend keep some of her clothes when we were on a break from school because she lived in a different state & then I wore some of her clothes & even posted pictures in it on Facebook.

I’ve had 2 people reach out to me this year to say they forgave me for hurting them & it took them years to get over the hurt. Worst part was I couldn’t even remember doing those things or even being that person.

Social media was my life at some point. I cared about pleasing those who followed me & increasing my followers than actually being there for my friends & family I could physically see.

Asides from these, I barely remember anything else & I’ve wondered severally “what happened to my memories?

Reading through Colossians 3, the Holy Spirit reminded me of 3 things;

1. Verse 2 says to think about the things of heaven if we truly have Christ as our whole life and this is the case with me hence why I don’t remember much from my past.

2. Verse 8 says to get rid of anger, malicious behavior, slander, rage and dirty language. I was angry so I obviously haven’t gotten rid of anger but I was able to control myself and not insult or call him out on social media.

3. Verse 13 says to make allowances for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends me. I’ve let go of the money and I’ve forgiven him so whether he pays me back or not, I won’t hold it against him.

I’m really thankful I have the Holy Spirit to convict me when I’m doing or have done something wrong but I’m more thankful for the grace to acknowledge my faults, learn from them and share my lessons so you don’t have to go through what I’ve gone through.

It’s my prayer that God gives us the grace to constantly think about heaven and live a life clothed with love. Amen 🙏🏼

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