You cannot choose the right partner if you do not attract the right person. The issue is not the availability it is that most times we do not attract the right people. Most people just do things that will help them make it to the altar.
This post is for singles and married. You will learn about ways to be a more attractive person. These things will help keep you attractive. There are things to learn and you must keep learning. That you are happily married for 5 or 10 years is not success. You must be happily married forever.
What is the difference between beauty and attraction?
Every human being needs to be attractive. If you are single, you need to attract the right people. If you are married, you need to stay attractive to your spouse and if you are a business man, you need to be attractive to be able to market and present yourself well.
Everyone needs to develop a level of attractiveness. It can be developed. Attraction is not like beauty. Physical beauty means having qualities that are pleasant to the eye. Attractiveness simply means having the power to attract.
These things are not just useful to attracting a spouse but every other relationship that you need in your life.
Some of the things that you should not get into;
Do not be desperate. The more desperate you are, the less the chances that you will attract the right person. No one ever makes a sound decision in desperation. Never come hustling. You won’t know what you negotiate when you are desperate. Everybody feels somehow when you come strong at them. Do not come on strong to any guy as a woman.
It cannot be one sided. You cannot put pressure or coarse or cajole. As a guy, present you case and the let her say if she’s interested or not. If you are begging her to marry you today, you will beg her to in the marriage to live with you. Anything built on begging will need to be maintained by begging. You cannot buy true love.
Do not come pretending. You must be yourself. Who you are is good enough so don’t put in so much effort to change who you are. Someone will like who you are. Once you start pretending, you will not be true to yourself and you will not be happy. There is need to be real. That is where the real joy comes from in a relationship. That you are who you are and you enjoy being yourself.
When a man is complaining about everything you do he is not your spouse and vice versa. If he doesn’t like up to three things about you let him go and find somebody else. You’re not the person he wants. He’s managing you and one day he will get tired especially when there is a better option. Look for someone who will celebrate you. “Don’t go where you are tolerated, go where you are celebrated”.
Instead of forcing someone else that does not like you to like you, look for someone that will like you. You cannot do a long term relationship or marriage that way. Do not go into a relationship right immediately telling the person you want to get married. No, start with being friends, in that atmosphere people can be real.
You need people to be real to know who they really are. Some people are just supposed to be your friends. Do not start a relationship and then be looking for friendship in it. Amongst your friends there’ll be somebody you can marry, someone you do not need to pose for, you don’t need to brag to.
Do not be tempted to go naked. You cannot attract a real man that way. A woman of virtue will not expose her body. She believes In who she is. She is smart, she knows she has more than just her body. There’s no guarantee that your body will be that way forever. You will not attract godly and faithful men that way. The people you will attract are not the ‘take home’ men.
Ways to be a more attractive person (Scriptural based ways to improve your attractiveness)
Get a purpose of for your life. Perfect your gifting and abilities. “the gift of a man maketh room for him”. A purposeful person is always more attractive than a wanderer. Your purpose releases creativity, joy, fulfilment, passion so they will always look more attractive than a confused person.
Purpose should be one of the things that will bring you together “two are better than one, there’ll be a reward for their labour”. You will even meet the man faster when you’re walking in purpose. Learn now to do something. There is something about purpose that makes you attractive. Your purpose makes your marriage interesting. It gives you things to discuss and talk about. Watch what you take in. “Garbage in Garbage out”.
Why can’t you dream or have a vision? There’s a glow that comes when your purposeful. A purposeful woman is always interesting to talk to.
Mental development. Read Proverbs 11:22. The average man likes an intelligent woman. Ecclesiates 8:1. “Wisdom makes the face of the wise to shine“. Read books. Develop yourself mentally. Don’t be a beautiful face on an empty head. Read please. Watch creative programmes. Read things that can develop you and let you know what is going on in your country and around the world. Magazines, Current Affairs etc.
Let your partner be proud to take you anywhere. You need to know what you want before you marry. Let mental things stimulate you. Not necessarily ignorance (when you do not know something) but when you do not know and you are not trying to know and you lack the capacity to know, then there is a problem. Ignorance means you have ignored the knowledge, not that it wasn’t available. It is the act of ignoring information, not, not knowing it.
You can use your frame to attract a man but you will only use intelligence to keep him. “The outward man perishes day by day but the inward man is renewed”. This means you get smarter day by day.
There should be Mental development, how do you do that?
- Ask Questions. Don’t be tired.
- Read things that will enhance your knowledge. Know something about everything. Know a bit about sports, cars, food, clothes etc.
- Observe. If you’re a smart person you’ll learn from observation. People don’t need to tell you everything.
- Choose your friends wisely. Choose intelligent friends.
Self support services. There has to be maintenance services you do to yourself. Anything you leave without attention will decay. There are some things that are up to you to do to keep maintaining the beautiful body God gave you. Your physical body. Eat healthy. Cut down on your meals. Learn about healthy eating. It is not about the bulk but how balanced the meal is.
There is need for exercise. You can do 20 minutes twice a week.Look good. Choose the right clothes for you. That it is in vogue doesn’t mean it is for you. Use make up. Make up is not a sin. Don’t be excessive. That’s not where your trust should be. Take time to make a good hair style. Clean up.
Finally, Smell good.