Why are we so different?

The similarities attract us but as we come close we begin to see differences; the things we do not like about the other person, things we do not understand. Differences could also mean quarrel. Yes it is possible to have a happy relationship but your happiness is based on the ability to settle your differences. 

Things that make us different (that can bring issues);

1. Backgrounds. The little differences in our back grounds sometimes grow to become issues later on. 

2. Educational level. When one person is highly educated and the other is not it can bring about challenges. 

3. Culture. This has a way of bringing incredible differences. Beliefs are different. We should treat people on individual basis, give them a chance to prove themselves. Don’t generalise. 

4. The generation you belong. Sometimes when you’re in different generations, there might be different cultural behaviours. 

5. Temperaments. Know your temperament. Get a Tim LaHaye book. Read about the different kinds of temperament. You can know predictable behaviour so you know how to respond to your partners behaviour. If you are spirit filled it should not be your nature but you must know about your temperament. Study a bit about the characteristics of the person you want to marry. The very fact that we are man and woman is a difference. The hormones flowing in us (as man and woman) are different. 

We are different in totality as man and woman. In every thing that we do, the way we appreciate life is different, the way we think and more. All these are important for us to understand and work to manage them and not against it. As a woman marry a man that can cultivate you, nurture you. Do not marry one that does not love God so you are not stripped of your knowledge of God. Also, try and develop your intellectual side. Pick interests in logical aspects as men are logical. 

Men are work oriented, they define themselves with their work, women are family oriented. When you spend time with your woman even though you have a heavy schedule it means a lot to your woman. Women have the power to nurture, men usually have the seed. Women are more expressive. They talk for affection. Men talk for information. They speak directly. Women like the process of everything, men like the end, they don’t like the story. Women are intuitive, men are calculative. Women generally have more capacity than men. They have incredible threshold.  

How do we manage these differences?

1. Both of you should line up with Gods word. The word becomes the standard for your life. Before you start submitting to each other first submit to God. Even as a single person, let Gods word rule your life, learn how to walk in love even when you don’t feel like it. The word of God must form your character. You have to both have received Jesus Christ into your individual lives. 

2. Deal with each other with understanding. 1 Peter 3:7. This scripture applies to both the man and the woman. Deal with each other with knowledge it will bring peace.

3. Play the scriptural roles that the bible recommends

4. Do a lot of communication. You must both coach yourself. Train yourselves. Use every opportunity to teach each other. 

Ask yourselves, can we work on these things together? If you can manage the differences there will be peace. 

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Love, Dating and Marriage

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